we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
