my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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