My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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