Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
