Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
