we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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