I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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