Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize