Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
