Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
