wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
