I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
