If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
