I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
