STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
