Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
