Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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