Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
