don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
