My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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