She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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