i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list