question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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