it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
