a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
