I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
