i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
