Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
