chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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