Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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