This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
