I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
