I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
