Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
