My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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