And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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