what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
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New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
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Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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