i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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