she looked like the before picture.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
