Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
