he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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