i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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