i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
