Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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