does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
