im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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