after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
