yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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