Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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