Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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