Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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