I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
