how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
