to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
