I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
