He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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