fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I intend to get homeless drunk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
