giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
