Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
