How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
