I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think my moral compass just broke
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize