I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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