I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
