i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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