come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
