well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
