i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
