I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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