this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
