How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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