I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
